Just Go...

            Sometimes the very last thing we want to do when we’re feeling down in the dumps is the very thing that will bring us back to feeling better again. For some reason, this is often proves very difficult to remember. I experienced this just a few days ago when I found out I hadn’t gotten a much needed job. Really concerned about the future, I spent the whole day mulling over my predicament. By midafternoon, I was nearly in tears, exhausted from worrying and, of course, still stressed. My mind flitted to the martial arts class I had that night, and while I had been excited for it all week, I was suddenly less than enthused. I’m just too tired and stressed to go, I thought. So for the next few hours, I juggled with “Just go. No…Just skip it.” Finally, impulsively, I called my parents to see if they wanted to get pizza and watch a movie. It seemed that “just skip it” had won out.
            “Don’t you have class tonight?” my mom asked.
            “Uh yeah, but I’m really tired,” I said.
            “Well, you’re more than welcome to come hang out here, but we have plans.”
            My heart sank. It felt like nothing was working out. None of my friends were around either—they were all working or gone for the holidays. Fine, I thought, sighing and grabbing my gym bag. I’ll go to class. But I’m not going to pretend to be happy…
            When I got to the studio, I was a little early, so I sat off to one side while the kid’s martial arts class finished up. I took a few deep breaths and tried to relax. I focused on the clean, open space. The sound of kids giggling, playing games and learning self-defense filled the room. It felt pleasant and comforting. A few minutes later, my instructor popped in and said his teacher Master Z, the founder of Counterpoint Tactical Systems, was in town and going to assist with class. It was cool to see the enthusiasm my teacher had for his teacher. Then a new girl sat down and we started talking. Almost without my notice, it seemed the heaviness of my day was quietly easing itself from my back.  
             That night in class we practiced self-defense in the prone position (laying on your back), something I had never done before. It took all of my focus to try and grasp what I was supposed to do with my body. I got the chance to have instruction from Master Z, whose energy was calm, loving and focused. The hour went by far too quickly, as it always does, and afterward, as I changed into my street clothes, I realized I was smiling. For that one hour of class, I hadn’t been worrying about jobs or the future. I was focused on the present—on learning, listening, and paying attention. The fact that I felt better after class shouldn’t have surprised me. Didn’t I always feel better afterward? How could I have forgotten that?
            That night as I left the studio, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the people in my class, for all that I was learning, and for the decision to “just go.” It can be so hard to keep that “just go” attitude when we’re feeling less than stellar, but I guarantee that if we can, we will be better for it.